Time to Fess Up

Saturday, alas, I fell down on the job by not writing a blog entry. (Woe is me!) I have learned a lot about offering up interesting excuses from my high school students.

"My dog didn't eat my homework, but my four-year-old brother scribbled on it with black crayon. No, I didn't bring it to show you. Don't you believe me?"

"My mom wouldn't let me do it because I had to play Scrabble with her. I brought a note." (Yes, there was a note. No, I don't believe his mom wrote it.)

"My dog ate a ping pong ball and we had to rush him to the pet emergency room." (O.K., being a sucker for animals I thought this was at least plausible until the kid kept using his dog as an excuse. Eventually, his mom e-mailed me about the boy's grade and I explained I had given him some extra time for the first assignment, but not later ones because I had grown suspicious. She informed me that the family didn't have a dog.)

"I broke my arm and couldn't write." (Now, you'd think a kid wouldn't say this to me if he wasn't wearing a cast - but, you'd be wrong.)

"My dad died last night." (Of course, I responded with heartfelt sympathy and amid tears welling in my eyes asked why the student was even at school.) "Well, I haven't seen or spoken to him since I was three so my mom didn't think it was that big of a deal." (No joke.)

Suffice it to say that any excuse I have for not writing Saturday night will not measure up to the creativity of teenagers, so I won't even bother trying. However, Saturday's topic is one I still want to visit because we ate out. (Can you say "cheat"? I thought you could.) There is a local Chinese establishment that is a contradiction wrapped up in an enigma. First, it is situated in a small strip mall in downtown Queen Creek (read this with tongue firmly planted in cheek). It rests between a storefront offering Karate lessons and a nail salon. Each shop has full size glass windows across the front that allow a complete view of the interior, and most have special deals splashed across the glass in neon window paint. The entire set of shops is about four years old and looks like a million other small real estate developments across the country. Upon walking into this family-run restaurant, customers are greeted by a huge circular tray ceiling and the kind of crystal chandelier reserved for starlight dances in the Rainbow Room. Below all this elegance sits the ordinary black tables, chairs, and booths found in every cliché of a Chinese eatery complete with paper placemats sporting information on the Chinese zodiac. (I'm a snake, in case you're curious.)

The service is just as contradictory as the atmosphere. Some days the owner-operators are friendly and cheerful, and some days they're not. (They're never rude, just more or less helpful.) In addition, several of the family members speak better English than others, so they often exchange more pleasantries with customers. One thing that is always certain, though, is the food. (The prices aren't too shabby either with daily lunch specials - any entree plus rice, soup, spring roll, and fried wonton - for $5.95.) On Saturday the guys and I opted for three types of chicken - honey, orange, and lemon - agreeing to share the yumminess. The lemon chicken was sweet and tangy, while the orange chicken had a nice bite. The honey chicken, contrary to its name, was the spiciest of all with plenty of those gorgeous deep red peppers strewn through the dish. Jeff, who is not a fan of hot foods, decided the orange and honey chicken were too fiery for his taste, but not before the Ragamuffin and I got to have a few bites of the sweet lemon sauce on his plate.

Ultimately, we all left happy and stuffed for a good price ($24 for the three of us including the meal, drinks, tax, and tip). It was a guilty pleasure worth every penny and tonight's confession.